Hi guys, I just back to this topic to write something to you.
Today, after 9 months I played ma last match in tour and finished my little career
Its not an impuls, its a thought that grown up in me during last months.
Thats enough I should give up for my mental health. I wont ever be solid player and this game since few months made each of my evening so sad.
I knew that I wont be top 50 instantly in a month or two, but i believed that playing and practicing will allow me to do some little steps.
And I believed each of this step will make me more keen on this game. Now I see that it doesnt work in this way.
I practiced a lot during this 9 months but now im aware of fact that its not only abour practice. Its about your skills and Im not able to pass my peak which is actually low comparing to another players.
Its about 3 and half a month since I won my last match in tour. Thats kinda embarrasing for guy who played here 1500 matches.
That doesnt bring me fun but only some kind of pain and feeling of useless. Its really enough. It influenced my mood too much.
Its such a dramatic story of beeing so keen on challenging here and beeing so depressed about my own skills. I dont blame the game (for god sake this game is soooo goood) i blame me, my mind and my unability to handle defeats.
Considering that I know that this game wont bring me nothing positive but only frustration in future, and even in hurts I know I should do it.
Thanks to many great friends from here and many warm words I heard here.
Heinrich you are going to have better student than me
( I read in another topic that you described yourself as a 'not good player'. Comeon! Youre the best I ever met here! You even dont know how many times I played our matches in replay to watch your movement and shots ). Sorry that I wasted your time.
Also GoAga, you are developing so fast and so good. One day I bageled you and week after you let me win only 5 points against your 24
Youre on fire, I hope you are going to be great player. Im sorry that now Im not able to challange you and give you solid practice since months;-)
Mido, thanks for warm words today. I lost to you 3 times in 3 sets, and really wanted to defeat you some day, but youre developing in very fast way and outperform me easily
In the subject of this topic I asked what is the distance between newbie and first won match. I wanted to show how totally newbie can transform into solid player to show all the guys starting play here that it is worth to practice and try. And for god sake, Im not the best example of this
Better look on Sorana, GoAga, Mido, Kirilenko etc ;-].
Dont be Kroppe and dont give up ;-] at least as long as you have some fun from playing here.
Thanks for many matches and good luck for all players. Wish you fun