i have some new information that might help
when i try to create a game and connection test failed i clicked retry and it said
"it seems your pc is not reachable, other players from internet might not be able to join your game
please check that UDP port 4321 is open in your firewall and/or router"
Also when i try to play someone and it says "the game did not answer" after 5 minutes of freezing a windows messages comes up saying
"your system is low on virtual memory, windows is increasing the size of your virtual memory paging file" bla bla bla
I guess if i cant play online its not the end of the world
but thanks for trying to help me out