Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

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Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 22 Jan 2020, 09:39

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Well, hello everybody and welcome to a new show where I will talk about the tournaments and matches that will take place at the Australian Open. You can call me The Commissioner of Tennis 8-)

If you look at the past, in 2019 Australian Open we can see that JiJo, the world number one from Canada won the tournament by losing just 2 games in the entire tournament which is an unbelievable performance, but the best thing that happened in that tournament is the final ! It could have been a phenomenal final but Mohamed was constipated and he couldn't play the final ! He needed a surgery at his ass after that, but this year he said that he's ready to lose in the final again ! I wish him good luck though.

But who cares about the past ? We're in 2020 and we're ready for the first slam of the year. If we take a look at the seeds, there are no surprises

Seed 1 : JiJo - The main favourite to win the tournament, JiJo called by anyone else the "cyborg" is ready to win another grand slam. Can anyone take 3 games this time from him ? For sure not ! I can bet even my balls on him !
Seed 2 : Mohamed - Probably the second favourite to win the tournament, Mohamed will wish to not be constipated again if he meets JiJo. Maybe he is the guy to win 3 games this time ...
Seed 3 : Khalil Guedria - There's nothing to say about this guy, solid baselline player, he can be a threat.. but for sure his dream of winning another slam will be over in the semi-finals...
Seed 4 : Ousamma Hassad - That name sounds like a terrorist for me ready for a big battle this year at the Australian Open. Who knows, if the World War 3 begins, he might be able to win this tournament

The fans from Australia for sure will support LetsGoBro a big legend in the Mana Tour competitions, but I don't think he can do anything special this year at the AO

In my opinion, as The Commissioner of Tennis I think that the only way the world number one can lose this tournament is if the fire will hit the stadium when he plays, or he might get Diarrhea, who knows ?

Well that's all for today , see ya in the next edition of MANA TOUR COMMISSIONER OF TENNIS ! I'll be back after Round 1
Last edited by SCHLIRi on 22 Jan 2020, 17:53, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby edkDeus » 22 Jan 2020, 10:07

The Comissioner should deliberate who wins the tournament, cause this thing of playing against a machine is kinda tough.
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 24 Jan 2020, 09:11

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Comissioner of Tennis is back with the fireworks ! Today we'll talk about the matches who took place in R1 of Australian Open 2020 and at the end of the show, i'll show you the interview of my special guest.

There weren't many surprises in R1 to be honest, but I want to talk about some matches that took away my attention.

The first match that i want to talk about is EdkDeus from Portugal and johnnyboy21 from England. EdkDeus won in 4 sets 4-6 7-6(2) 6-4 7-6(2) . A great match from both of them but how the hell can you be called johnnyboy21 ? I mean, don't get me wrong but if i would call my dog johnnyboy, he would bite the hell out of me . When you play with that nickname, you already start the match with 0-1 at sets

The only player from Australia, LetsGoBro qualified after a long battle against Venus Williams which it seems that "she" turned into a man :yes: 6/3 3/6 6/1 5/7 6/0. First of all, the score seems so strange. I think the australian player had a bet on "3-2 right-score" cause I can't believe that you can lose the fourth set 7-5 and win the third and fifth one with 6/1 and 6/0, but hey, I guess even the games are corrupted !

Another unbelievable match was TennisStar and the player sent by Erdogan Simo Hamdi ended in 6/0 6/1 6/2. Be aware everyone, TennisStar ( why the hell this name has a double s?) will be a future grand slam winner ( maybe after 30 years )

POLAND from POLAND ( hehehe, you got the joke right ?) won in 5 sets against Nastooo and he's ready for another triple bagel against JiJo in QF, but before that he meets andrey9537

World Number 4, the terrorist Ousamma Hassad qualified also after an easy straight win 6/0 6/3 6/1 and will play against the magnifique ROGER. Roger should watch his brother's match Federer against Djokovic at US Open 2015 and maybe he'll have a chance to break him once .

There are still some matches to be played, but probably most of them will end in a WO. Before going to the interview, I want to say that the bulgarian internet is so crap ( so garbage). Maybe in Cordoba the Comissioner of Tennis will find the love of his life ... :cry:

I'd like to welcome in the studio, the one and only, the best math teacher in the world, the strongest man on the planet, SCOTT STEINER
- Hello, sir. I'd like you to take a seat and answer me a quick question. Do you think that Khalil Guedria can beat the world number one JiJo ?
- YOU KNOW THEY SAY ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. BUT YOU LOOK AT JiJo AND YOU LOOK AT Khalil Guedria AND YOU CAN SEE THAT STATEMENT IS NOT TRUE! SEE NORMALLY IF YOU GO 1 ON 1 WITH ANOTHER PLAYER YOU GOT A 50/50 CHANCE OF WINNING! BUT JiJo IS A GENETIC FREAK AND HE'S NOT NORMAL! SO KHALIL GOT A 25% AT BEST AT BEAT HIM! AND THEN YOU ADD KURT ANGLE TO THE MIX, HIS CHANCES OF WINNING DRASTIC GO DOWN! SEE THE 3 WAY AT AUSTRALIAN OPEN KHALIL GOT A 33 1/3 CHANCE OF WINNING. BUT JiJo, JiJo GOT A 66 2/3 CHANCE OF WINNING CAUSE KURT ANGLE KNOWS Khalil CAN'T BEAT JiJo AND HE'S NOT EVEN GONNA TRY! SO Khalil YOU TAKE YOUR 33 1/3 CHANCE MINUS JiJo 25% CHANCE AND YOU GOT 8 1/3 CHANCE OF WINNING AT AUSTRALIAN OPEN. BUT THEN YOU TAKE JiJ0 75% CHANCE OF WINNING IF HE WAS TO GO 1 ON 1 AND THEN ADD 66 2/3 %. JiJo GOT A 141 2/3 CHANCE OF WINNING AT AUSTRALIAN OPEN! SENIOR KHALIL?THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE AND THEY SPELL DISASTER FOR YOU AT AUSTRALIAN OPEN

I'd like also to give the Sportsmanship award to a very fair play player, who always wins points when it's lagging the hell out. But the reason why he won it, is because he took a medical time-out at 4-3 in 3rd set in Auckland, just to lose 6-4 after. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Sportmanship award goes to SABATINI

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That's all for the first round of Australian Open 2020, don't forget guys, the Comissioner of Tennis is always watching you !. See ya after Round 2
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 29 Jan 2020, 09:16

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Well, here we go again. The Commissioner of Tennis is back ! I'll be talking today about the matches that took place in R2.

POLAND beat andrey 5/7 6/2 6/4 6/4 which means that finally POLAND was able to beat Russia which is kinda a joke because, don't get me wrong, but Poland dissappeared from the map of the world like 3 times. Putin might not be so happy, so be ready for another atack :wink:

Sabatini the most fair play player in this tour won against bublik23 6/0 6/0 6/2 and he'll meet The Commissioner of Tennis in QF
Well, I guess Tunisia closed the Internet in their country. Sadly, Khalil won't give me a double bagel and a breadstick :x

The terrorist is on his way to the QF also after Rogger knew that he'll get a bomb in his mouth if he's not retiring after he got destroyed in the first two sets.
The Australian player LetsGoBro won against TennisStar in a triple tie-break 7/6 7/6 7/6 which made me to remember Tennys Sandgren, the biggest choker in the world missing 7 match points against monsieur Roger Federer

Well, and the blockbuster of the paper was the rematch of US Open 2018 FINAL between EdkDeus and Mohamed. I was on Rod Laver Arena and from what I saw I can say that the match was way more closer than the score suggests. US Open champion from 2018 EdkDeus converted 0 break points from 9 opportunities, so like Gheorghe Hagi said : " Sometimes you lose, sometimes you don't win " . Nishikori and Federer would be proud of this achievement. The match ended 6-1 6-3 6-1 for the boss of Ottoman Empire .

Well, those are the quarter finals of this edition of AO .

JiJo (1) - Poland (8)
Sabatini - Comissioner of Tennis ( I'm so old )

Ousamma Hassad (4) - Straight Edge
LetsGoBro (6) - Mohamed (2)

That's all for today and let's hope the earthquake that happened today will stop JiJo from bagelling everyone again :shock:
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 01 Feb 2020, 13:47

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Hello everybody from Australia ! :yes: Have you missed me ? Of course not, but who cares cause COMISSIONER OF TENNIS IS BACK

We're almost at the end of the first GS of the season , QF and SF were already played .

The biggest surprise is that JiJo couldn't play his match against Poland, so maybe that means he wanted to give a chance for someone else to win a GS . That's a nice sportmanship from the world number one .

I had a hell of a match against Sabatini, coming back from 0-2 at sets to win 3-2 . Sabatini should understand that when you play the Comissioner of Tennis you can't beat him taking time - outs and winning points when it's lagging. At the end of AO, i'll give another special award to Sabatini, so stay tuned :?:

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Oussama Hassad and Mohamed won in 3 quick sets against Straight Edge and the australian, former world number one LetsGoBro

Sadly, Poland beat me in 4 sets ( he even bagelled me ) but he should be happy because i couldn't drop shot him more :bounce: Anyway, he doesn't have a chance in the final cause i'm putting my money on the Ottoman Empire boss aka Mohamed who's ready to win another GS after beating the terrorist Oussama Hassad 6/3 6/3 7/6.

SOOOO, after 2 weeks the final of AO is POLAND vs MOHAMED. I'm predicting a 3 easy sets win for Mohamed. Don't forget guys, Comissioner of Tennis is never wrong :whistle: . I'll comeback after the final with the Awards Ceremony. See ya until then
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 04 Feb 2020, 21:45

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Well, Comissioner of Tennis is back with the last show at the Australian Open ! We had an unbelievable tournament this year and the final will be remembered as the greatest match of all time in Mana Tour ! Yes, I'm talking about Poland vs Mohamed ! Poland was at his first GS final ever, he trained so hard ! I'm right, i saw him training against players with 1400 elo . I think in the final Poland was the one constipated cause he didn't know how to go faster to the bathroom, so he lost in a triple bagel 6-0 6-0 6-0. Second Grand Slam title to Mohamed from Tunisia :applause:

Well, after the first GS of the season , i have to give some awards, no ? Let's start with the categories :)

1) The AO trophy and AO plate go to ...

Image

2) The Choker of the tournament/season (wtv) goes to ...
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3) The most fair play guy of the tournament goes to ... (because he let other people to win a tournament )
JIJO

4) The last award [EDITED out by ManuTOO ; no insult on the forum please]

That's all for this AO . Cya in Cordoba, i heard that there are some good girls there :yes: The Comissioner of Tennis will be back !
Current rank: 6
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 23 Mar 2020, 16:55

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HELLOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY, Commissioner of Tennis is back 8-)

Nothing can stop the commissioner of tennis to write on this thread, not even the Corona Virus ! Anyway last week I played in Indian Wells, the first 1000 Masters of the season and I want to say that the people who work at the tour don't even think about our health ! How are we supposed to play when there is a pandemic in our world ? Use ur brain guys :yes:
Anyway, let's talk about Indian Wells, a tournament that everyone loves, except me because I don't know why there are tournaments on this surface. There should be just tournaments on CLAY, there you can see if you have real value. I also found a good blonde chick, so who knows what i will be doing tonight :whistle:

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Again Khalil Guedria , World Number 3 and seeded 2 at this tournament registered just in time and from a specific newspaper we heard that he was infected with COVID19, Mana Tour is wishing you a speedy recovery :yes:

On the first half of the draw again we had an african semi final between Mohamed ( the little cyborg of this game) and the terrorist Ousamma Hassad ( sadly the WW3 hasn't begun yet ) ended in a 6-4 6-2 for Mohamed . At the press conference, Edk Deus , the only player who won a grand slam in Portugal said :

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On the second half of the draw we had a competitive match between Straight Edge and the future of this tour, the comissioner of tennis, which ofc finished in a 6-4 7-6 for the god of Tennis Elbow 2013.

The Final of Indian Wells Mohamed vs Comissioner of Tennis
Well, like everybody expected, lord Mohamed won the match in a double 6-4 6-4 again with the help of the lag and I suggest manutooo to ban the tunisian network ! Not only that, world number one mr JIJO is ready to comeback at Miami, so we can finally see a JIJO VS Mohamed final which will end in a 6-3 6-4 for the canadian cyborg of this game.

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Anyway, EDK was pretty upset after his loss to the tunisian Mohamed in the quarters of Indian Wells, blaming his internet, so i had a search on google and I saw this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c ... ion_speeds
Tunisia is not even in top 100, probably not even in top 1000 :applause:

Anyway, don't forget guys, STAY HOME and be ready for another edition after Miami Masters. Ciao humanity !
Current rank: 6
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250 ATP Houston, Lyon Winner 2020,
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 16 Apr 2020, 07:38

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Hello everybody, Comissioner of Tennis is back with a huge update from Miami !



After 2 long weeks in Indian Wells, The players finally arrived in Miami !
As you can see, world number one JIJO decided to win another tournament because 26 weren't enough for him. It was a easy tournament for him and like everyone expected he beat the tunisian network 6-2 6-4. Congrats to JIJO, hopefully you won't make another comeback so people can enjoy winning some tournaments ( same goes to mohamed :whistle: )

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Today I'll be talking about Shone aka NESXA or wtv that means. As you know, Shone is a tour mod. Comissioner of Tennis made a Indian Wells final and came to Miami to play against the great's of Tennis Elbow ( Mohamed, Khalil, Osamma, EdkDeus, Straight Edge etc) but this serbian chancellor does not allow that to happen ! Shone is giving the win to the guy that his ass wants more . It's not the first time that happens. Even other players suffered to his bs. One player from Mana Tour told me that Shone forced him to wear white at Wimbledon and they had a conversation for 30 minutes. Where the hell is the rule for players being forced to wear white outfits at Wimbledon ?


I suggest that we create a revolution against this dude so we can stop him from destroying this tour and remove him from the POWER so he can't abuse anymore
.
See ya in the next edition of Mana Tour Comissioner of Tennis !
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby manutoo » 17 Apr 2020, 06:04

NESXA didn't give anything ; he did a RL with 50% chance : OT_LastResults.php
=>
Code: Select all
22:45:35    Monte-Carlo    Singles    R1    Silva99    SCHLIRi    RL    NESXA (By RL.50)
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby SCHLIRi » 18 Apr 2020, 14:14

Well when I had 83% chances to win by RL and somehow Shone makes it a RL 50-50% it is just frustrating. I'd like to know which Tour Mod will create the draws for the next tournaments, so I can withdraw from the ones where Shone manages them.

The funny thing is that Silva99 who won by "RL" against me, didn't even show up in his match against andrey9537. :fear:
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby edkDeus » 18 Apr 2020, 15:46

Silva contacted Schliri twice at 4am. Do you really expect people to play at 4am? Or is Silva going to keep getting RL's if he doesn't show up at normal times?
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby manutoo » 19 Apr 2020, 08:33

SCHLIRi,
next time you have an issue with the RL, try to see with the Mods what's wrong, and if you're not happy with their answer, contact me.

edkDeus,
I guess it's a normal time for him, as he's in South America.
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby edkDeus » 19 Apr 2020, 14:11

Manutoo, we already have a top-15 that won 4 matches in 2019 because sometimes he isn't able to play at normal hours for most of the tour, winning matches via WO and RL. If you can't play at accessible hours, how do you not desvirtuate the tour? The difference between Uruguay and Portugal is 4 hours, Romania 6. If he contacted Schliri at 4am, it was 10pm there, he barely had availabilty to play, and then he didn't even contact Andrey.
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby NESXA » 19 Apr 2020, 17:02

SCHLIRi, can you tell me why you deserved more % for RL? The main problem in your match was time difference. Do you think it's Silva99's issue? When a problem isn't caused by any of you, chances should be equal. It should be fair for every normal and fair player. And don't forget, players from Uruguay are not allowed to change their time zone just for you, as you can't change your time zone for them. So you are on same level as Silva99 even if you think that you are something more. Next time try to give more effort to play your match and then you'll get more chances for RL.

I contacted you on skype, but of course, you won't answer. If you are saying lies on skype, other players won't see and they won't be able to believe you. So now, other players think that M.Khalil Guedria and Jijo would give you win in situations like this, but that is not the truth as they told me on skype. Forum is better for lies. Especially if you have in your plans some revolution. You need a lot of players for that. It's good that you have edkdeus who was forced to wear 80% white outfit on Wimbledon as it was written in official topic by Sampreas. I don't know what to say. Maybe just one advice. Don't speek about yourself in third person. It's not good sign. As I heard it can be due a stunted intellect, the presence of psychotic personality disorders, rampant egoism and etc. I hope it's not the case.
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Re: Mana Tour Commissioner of Tennis

Postby edkDeus » 19 Apr 2020, 18:27

Dude, I wasn't forced to wear white because it was not in the rules, as we discussed for almost an hour that day. Sampreas wrote that later, because of our issue, you can check our conversation on Skype if that still bothers you. For a guy that says Schliri should speak the truth you sure are bullshitting right there.

Now, the facts. Silva tried to contact Schliri once at 22pm and once at 18pm. 22pm his time is at least 2am in Europe, 18pm is midnight on Romania. Schliri contacted Silva twice, at 8am his time, and said "the hour is too late, I am available to play in the next 12(!!) hours". So Schliri did make an effort, certainly more than Silva did, and he also acknowledged the issue saying "the problem is the difference in hours [between them]". If you come from Uruguay and you face an European, if you can't show up at a good time for both, at least try to arrange something. He didn't. He said "I can play from now on", at midnight in Romania, and "Hello, when can you play?" at 4am. Schliri tried to make an arrangement, he didn't give the same effort, and in a tour where you have half of the matches decided by WO, you got another WO the next round, where Silva didn't even contact Andrey.

EDIT: And not only Silva did not give the same effort as Schliri, but it's almost a week later and he still hasn't seen Schliri's last message, or being on Skype in general.
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